We are expecting! I cannot believe that I am writing this today. Seth and I are incredibly excited and cannot wait to be parents!
Baby Johnson (Baby J) is due in May. May 23, 2017 to be exact. May is a special month for our families, as it has two very special birthdays: Seth’s grandpa and my dad.
As many of you know, this was not the easiest journey to parenthood. Becoming pregnant took a lot longer than expected and it was a very trying time in my life. Over the last two years, I have changed a lot, hopefully for the better, and feel that my faith has grown. Despite the challenges we have faced, I have become more resilient and our marriage has become stronger.
Today, I feel grateful, humble and thankful for our blessing. I say this with sensitivity, because I can’t help but think of all of the women who are still trying to conceive, month after month, with no success. If you are reading this today, and struggling to get pregnant, please know that I am thinking of you and hope that your blessing comes very soon. I was in your shoes, not long ago, and I know how hard it is to read yet another pregnancy announcement.
If there was anything I learned along my journey, it would be to be your own advocate and never give up. There were days when I wanted to quit. I thought that maybe we just weren’t meant to be parents. But there was a little voice inside me that encouraged me to continue.
I was really determined at times. I saw an acupuncturist, changed my diet, saw a chiropractor, got massages, went to my doctor, tried different fertility treatments…the list goes on. But I did not give up. No matter how defeated I felt, I kept plugging away. And the formula that worked for me and Seth may not be the formula that works for you, but keep trying. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
I even scheduled an appointment at an infertility clinic. Thanks to a close family member, who faced similar fertility struggles, she recommended that I make my appointment in advance. The wait is over three months for many of these clinics, and sure enough, when I called in August, I could only get an appointment in November.
My appointment for the Center of Reproductive Medicine was scheduled for November 22 at 8:00 a.m. Even though I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of September, I did not cancel my appointment until a few weeks ago. After having a miscarriage, there is this fear and worry that follows you around like a dark storm cloud at the beginning of your next pregnancy.
After the initial excitement wears off, you begin to worry and wonder if this pregnancy will be like the last. You read into your symptoms and wonder if what you are experiencing is normal. You don’t trust your body and the doubt is so consuming. You begin your sentences with, “If this baby makes it…” and are hesitant to make any future plans.
Eventually, though, you learn to trust. Trust in your body. Trust in God. Trust in the plan He has for you. The fear at the beginning of this pregnancy was consuming me and I had to turn it off. I had to let it go and trust that everything would be okay this time.
My doctor’s office has been amazing. Knowing my history, they allowed me to schedule an early ultrasound to check if things were developing normally. At seven weeks, Seth and I went in to see our little bean for the first time. Almost immediately, we saw a little blob with a flickering heart. It was beating so fast. I knew right away that this pregnancy was different. Baby J was measuring a little smaller than I had estimated, so we were told we were only six weeks and four days.
I had my first real appointment scheduled at eight weeks. We met our nurse practitioner, who will meet with us every other appointment, and absolutely loved her. She is a mom and grandma herself and so incredibly sweet. We went over a million different questions and I had my blood drawn. I did not expect to see Baby at this point, but she brought in the transportable ultrasound machine just for us! We saw Baby again at eight weeks. I saw two little feet, a beating heart and lots of movement. She told us our baby was really active. (Proud Momma moment here!)
This last Monday, Seth and I heard Baby’s heartbeat for the first time. Our doctor said it could take a while to find, and to not be alarmed if we didn’t hear it right away. Immediately after she put the Doppler on my tummy, we heard the heartbeat. It sounded like galloping horses and it was a glorious sound. She said Baby was showing off.
On Tuesday, we had our first trimester ultrasound at 12 weeks. I could not believe how much Baby J had grown since our eight week appointment. It definitely looked more human and was showing off its cute little profile (we loved Baby’s pursed lips!). The highlight of the ultrasound was a kicking show at the end.
I hope to keep you updated and posted throughout my pregnancy. Thank you to everyone for all of your love and support.