Silas' Sesame Street First Birthday Party

Well, we have a ONE year old, folks! I cannot even believe it. We celebrated by grilling with the grandparents on his actual birthday. He tried ice cream for the first time and fell in love. Over the weekend, we had a small(ish) party at home with some friends and family. Silas tried cake and seemed to love it, although he didn't want to get too messy eating it. What a gentleman!

Throughout the festivities, we learned that the song "Happy Birthday" makes Silas cry. I'm not sure why this is, but I have a feeling he might be a softy. :)

I also learned that I can't remember everything and forgot to put up a few decorations I worked so hard on. Crap! Learning to roll with the waves of motherhood!

Here are a few of my favorite photos from his birthday.

A Letter To Our Son On His First Birthday

Dear Silas,
 

Happy 1st Birthday, Bubba! We cannot believe it has already been a year since we welcomed you into the world. You are the best thing that has happened to your Daddy and me and we love you so very much.

This last year has been a wonder watching you grow. It seems like each day, you learn something new. You amaze us.

We have learned a lot in the last year too! We now know that everything takes an additional 30 minutes, especially when we are trying to get out of the door. We are learning how to go with the flow and not sweat the small stuff, because we know that this will all go too fast.

Nothing is sweeter than waking up to your little squawks over the baby monitor.

Although it’s a little earlier than we would like to get up, we can’t wait to go into your room and see your smiling face.  It makes us forget how tired we really are.  

You excitedly point to the airplane hanging from your ceiling and say, “Oooooh!” We make airplane noises for you and pretend to fly one around the room. You look at us with amazement and must think it’s the coolest thing.

You are our everything. 

A lot can happen in one year. It seems like just yesterday, you were swaddled in a warm blanket with your eyes closed tightly. Now, you are crawling around half-naked at full speed. We can barely get a diaper on you these days.

As much as we miss those early days, we are beyond excited for what is to come.

What will you like to do for fun? Who will you grow up to be?

We hope to teach you how to be a nice person and always treat others with love and respect.

We hope to teach you right from wrong.

We hope you know that you are always loved.

We hope you know the love that Jesus has for you and you walk a life of faith.

We hope you know that you can always come home.

While dreaming about your future is so fun, we are doing our best to take in the present and just enjoy who you are now.  

You love music. You have rhythm and bounce up and down to any tune that has a good beat. Listening to your dad play guitar is one of your favorite things to do. You even sing along and love to say, “Ahhhh” to the music.

You are beginning to show your preferences, which include Sesame Street, bouncy balls and fire trucks. You show your excitement when you are sitting down and tapping your heels on the ground.

You are a little jokester and like to make us laugh. You make silly noises at the dinner table and look to see if we crack a smile. Even if we don’t laugh, you laugh at yourself.

You are becoming a trickster too. Even though we say, “No” when you feed the dogs food from your high chair, you continue to do so in the most clever way. You will stare right at us, pretending to put your food in your mouth, and instead, quickly swing your arm to the side and drop it casually onto the floor. You love your dogs and they really love you too.

You are a friendly kid. At the grocery store, you make eye contact with everybody and flash them a smile. You love interacting with other kids too.  

You are a charmer. You love to give your grandmas kisses, which are always with an open mouth.

You love to explore. You can crawl really fast, traveling to all of the rooms in the house. You open and shut doors along the way, examine hinges, unplug the carbon monoxide detector and laugh hysterically at the beeping noise it makes.

Your favorite phrase is definitely, “Uh Oh!” You say it pretty much all the time, but especially when you drop your pacifier or anything else for the matter. Your other favorite word is doggy and you say it with the most enthusiasm.  

You point to things when asked. Right now, you know where outside is, who your Daddy is, who your dogs are, where your head is, and where the light is. You are quite obsessed with light fixtures and ceiling fans.

You are really happy. We often get asked, “Is he always this happy?” Yes, you are really happy most of the time and we are so grateful for your joyful demeanor.  

You are the light of our lives and we can’t imagine a day without you. Our world is forever changed because you are in it. We love you so very much, Siley! Happy 1st Birthday to you!
 

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

My 10 Favorite First-Year Mom Items

I can hardly believe it, but I have almost wrapped up my first year as a mom!  It has been one of the most challenging, yet rewarding years of my life. When you become a new mom, there is definitely a learning curve, but you slowly figure out what works best for you and your baby.

In light of Mother’s Day coming up, I would like to share some of my favorite items during my first year of motherhood. These are the things that helped me get through, survive and keep my sanity.

1. Mother Love Nipple Cream: This stuff is the tits! If you are breastfeeding or thinking about breastfeeding, you need this cream for your boobs. Your nipples will crack, bleed, dry out and take on a new shape within the first few weeks of breastfeeding. I applied this cream a few times daily in those early weeks. It was recommended to me by a lactation consultant and we purchased it in the hospital gift shop. You can also purchase it on Amazon.
    
2. Breast Pads: These are a must if you are breastfeeding your baby. I learned the hard way and woke up one night soaked in milk from my leaking breasts. I tried a few different breast pads, but my favorite is made by Lansinoh, because the pad fits perfectly in my bra cup and soaks up a lot of milk.
    
3. Padsicles: If you are planning to have a vaginal birth, these padsicles are essential for postpartum recovery. You keep them in the freezer, so they stay nice and cool. They feel amazing on your healing girl parts. Two weeks before Silas was due, I decided to set up a station in my kitchen and make the padsicles. I packaged them up in aluminum foil and threw them in the freezer, not knowing my water would break that night and I would be needing the pads a lot sooner than anticipated. I was so happy I made them in advance!
    
4. Gap Nursing Sleep Tops: I live in a cold climate and need to wear long-sleeves at night. These tops from Gap are my favorite because they are so incredibly soft and comfortable. They also make breastfeeding in the middle of the night a breeze. Whip out the boob and away you go!
   
   Note: If you have a larger cup size, you will definitely want a nursing bra you can wear at night. I purchased these ones from Amazon, because they were inexpensive and gave me some extra support. 
    
5. Extra Long Phone Charger Cord (Android / iPhone): I don't know what it is about having a baby, but for some reason, your phone is always low on battery. I think it is from the mass amount of pictures and videos you take to document all of their firsts. It could also be from the large number of texts, phone calls and social media notifications you get right after having your baby. I constantly had my phone plugged into an outlet in the living room, where I set up shop for the first few weeks postpartum. 
    
6. Manual Breast Pump: Why I didn't purchase this sooner is a mystery to me. Around the time Silas was nine months old, Seth and I went to Nashville for an adults-only weekend. Because I was still breastfeeding, I needed to pump on my trip. I planned to bring my electric pump, but I did not want to haul it around to the bars with us. Someone recommended I get a manual breast pump and it was a lifesaver. While we were out and about, I would occasionally slip off to the bathroom and use my manual pump. I didn't have to worry about plugging anything in or hauling around a big bag. The manual pump is small and doesn't take up a lot of room in my purse. 
    
7. Hands-Free Pumping Bra: If you are pumping, you will want a way to use your hands to multitask. This bra is awesome, as it holds your pump pieces in place so you can eat food, scroll your newsfeed or simply pet your dog at the same time. (I might add, this was Calvin and Winnie's favorite first-year item too!)
    
8. Baby Wrap Carrier: This was another hands-free favorite. Babies love to be swaddled and close to their mommas during those first few weeks, and this wrap does the trick. This one is soft and really easy to use. Silas was able to snuggle up and stay close to me, while I got a few things done around the house. 
    
9. Ergobaby Carrier: Another carrier that we loved during the first year and still love today! This one is a little more durable and better for trips outside of the house. It also can be used longer than the cloth carrier, because it is adaptable to a growing baby. When the baby is an infant, you wear them in the front. As they get bigger, you transition them to the back. We used this carrier when we went to Basilica Block Party (an outdoor concert), the X Games and the Minnesota State Fair. You need the infant insert for younger infants who have limited head and neck control. 
    
10. Coffee. An endless supply of coffee. And a glass of wine doesn't hurt. :) 

There you have it! I'm sure I will continue to edit this list as I think of things (Mom Brain is REAL, people!). If you are a mom and reading this, please comment with some of your favorite first-year items. Knowledge is power!

Stay tuned for a list of my favorite first-year baby items! 

--

Photo Credit to the amazingly talented: Gabe Photography

This post may include affiliate links.

The Things I Can Tell You As A Stay-At-Home Mom

There are a lot of things I can’t tell you, including the last time I slept for five hours straight, peed with the bathroom door closed, or walked through my living room without stepping over a toy.  

What I can tell you is what my baby had to eat today, how long each of his naps were, and what songs I sang to him while changing his diapers.

I can tell you about his bath this morning, after a 6:00 a.m. wake-up call. It was only after I began to feed him, did I realize he had a giant soak-through-your-pajamas blowout. Like most sleep-deprived moms, I chose to ignore it until after his tummy was full.

I can tell you his favorite books and I can tell you the ones he dislikes. With one shove of his arm, you would know which ones he doesn’t like too. I can almost recite all of Goodnight Moon by heart and I’m getting pretty good with my Southern twang while reading Little Blue Truck.

I can tell you how much he loves fruit. Brushing his teeth is a must at bedtime, because he has a sweet tooth like his Daddy.

I can tell you how long it takes us to get out of the house. He wiggles and moves so much that a hat on his head turns into a wrestling match.

I can tell you how many teeth he has and how many are coming in. He could melt anyone’s heart with his little toothy grin.

I can tell you his ticklish spots and the silly faces I make to get him to laugh.

I can tell you how I spent my day chasing him around the house, while he crawled and explored his new world.

I can tell you how he looks adorable in blue, but his socks never seem to stay on his feet.  

I can tell you how he claps his hands in excitement when he wants something. I can tell you when he’s frustrated. A grunt and a whine are usually good hints.

I can tell you that music makes him groove and jive like no other. The image of him rocking back and forth as he sits listening to a tune will forever be ingrained in my memory.

I can tell you how good the top of his head smells after a bath. If you were to bottle up the smell of heaven, this scent would be it.

I can tell you that I didn’t shower today, change out of my pajamas or step outside of my house, but none of this matters. I was with him.

The Singing Heart

Have you ever found something that makes your heart sing? Maybe it’s playing an instrument, cooking a delicious meal, or painting a picture. Maybe it’s hiking in the mountains, teaching little kids how to read, or building something out of wood.

I think writing makes my heart sing.

The other night, after I put Silas to bed, I sat on the couch with Seth and told him I was feeling a little down. I couldn’t quite figure out why.

After talking with him for a bit, it became more clear: I miss writing.

I miss having a creative outlet and a way to express myself. Writing is my form of therapy. And I have not been keeping up on it. Amidst the diaper changes and story times, I have discovered the art of self-neglect in the most innocent way.

It feels so good to get my thoughts out on paper (metaphorically speaking), releasing them into the world.

It’s like letting a giant breath out of your lungs, knowing you will feel better on the next inhale. Sometimes, the words you write can even be a gift to someone else. Your words might inspire, uplift or teach. They might make someone laugh, cry, or gain hope.

Not only does writing help me, but it might impact someone else. That thought motivates me.

I need to find time to write again. Whether that is squeezing it in during nap times or waking up before the rest of the house, I have to find time to sit in silence and do something for myself.

When I write, I am happy. I am a better mom, wife and friend. Writing makes me a better person overall. And when we are working to be the best versions of ourselves, the future is limitless.

Journey to Motherhood Series: Ovulation Predictor Kits, Temperature Tracking & Ovulation Meds (Plus: Video of Me Sharing the Good News!)

By the middle of winter 2016, I was growing impatient. I started using Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPKs) and a Basal Body Thermometer to track my temperature. The key to using the OPKs is to buy the cheap ones on Amazon. (They even throw in some bonus pregnancy tests!)

Starting around day 10 of my cycle, I would pee on a stick at the same time each day. You go through a lot of these sticks, so that is why it is important to purchase the inexpensive ones online.

Unlike pregnancy tests, you always get two lines on the ovulation test, but the key is to watch for the test line to be darker than the control line. Once you think you think that has happened, you use a more expensive, digital test to confirm that you are about to ovulate. If this is the case, you get a beautiful smiley face like this one here.  

A positive digital OPK on the top. A positive cheap test on bottom. Woohoo!

I also began using an app on my phone called Kindara, which helped me track each cycle. With Kindara, you take your temperature each morning and log it into the app. It spits out a neat graph that helps you detect when you ovulate each cycle.

When you ovulate, your temperature spikes by 0.5 to 1.0 degree, so you do not know it has happened until afterwards. However, if you track your temperatures each month, you will begin to see a pattern for your cycles and have an idea of approximately which day you ovulate on.

After tracking my cycle for a few months, I was beginning to see that my cycles were all over the board. They varied in length and ovulation was always questionable. Sadly, smiley faces on the OPKs were not a regular occurrence for me. 

I made an appointment with my OBGYN and we decided to try Clomid, a drug that helps your body ovulate.

During my first month on 50mg of Clomid, I did not ovulate, based on tracking my temperature and the OPKs. I also had an ultrasound on cycle day 12 and didn’t have follicles growing.

We decided to up my dosage to 100mg and I ovulated the next three cycles, all confirmed with growing follicles, happy little smiley faces and temperature spikes. Something was working, but it wasn’t leading to a positive pregnancy test.

We went to see my doctor again to discuss our next steps. She informed us that we would only have a total of six cycles taking fertility medication before we would need to go somewhere else and see a specialist. I had two more cycles left with my doctor and decided to change to another ovulation medicine called Femara. Like Clomid, it helps your body ovulate and some women have more success with it.

In addition, I also decided to have a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test completed. This is a radiology procedure where dye is injected into your uterus to see if your Fallopian tubes are open and if your uterus is of regular shape. My doctor mentioned that sometimes, the dye will help push out leftover cell debris that is inhibiting sperm from reaching an egg.  

I was warned that the procedure could be a little uncomfortable and somewhat painful. During the procedure, I did feel some pain, but was relieved when it only lasted a minute or so. I was also relieved to find out that my fallopian tubes and uterus looked normal.

That month, I also received a tip to make an appointment with the fertility clinic, since they book out months in advance. I made the appointment and went on enjoying my summer, celebrating our friend's wedding up north, a friend’s bachelorette party at Lake Okoboji, and eating some of Minnesota’s best food at the State Fair.  I did my best to keep my mind off of trying and relax. 

But the end of this cycle was different. Instead of disappointment, we were greeted with a beautiful positive pregnancy test. It was like this little light in a dark room. It was the hope I kept hanging onto.

When it happens after months of trying, you almost don’t even believe it. I ended up taking a few pregnancy tests just to make myself believe it was true.

I wanted to shout from the rooftops that I was finally pregnant. I wanted to tell everyone and share our good news. But with our past miscarriage, I was cautiously optimistic.

We went in for an ultrasound at six weeks and we saw a beating heart. It was so small, but it was there, flickering away on the screen like a little light. I just knew in my heart that this time, it was different.

Related Posts: Seven Weeks // The Crazy Things You Do When You are Trying to Conceive // Why 2015 Really Was a Good Year // We Are One in Eight // Lessons on Grief, Loss & Friendship // Connecting with Others Who are Trying to Conceive // The Early Months of Trying to Conceive